Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

6th Birthday note to Owen

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 7 December 2009
in Parenting
. 0 Comments

Yesterday my son turned 6 years old and so I am going to populate cyberspace with some words to him. Some may think this is a waste of cyberspace and if that is you… stop reading. I know that he may not read this for many years (good thing considering some of what I wrote) but I want him to know how much he means to me.

Owen,

I was reading in I Corinthians 15:33 this morning with your mom and I came across this scripture which I had underlined at some point. “Bad company corrupts good character.”  I want to go on the record and say that I am proud of the character you are developing. I am going to focus on that today but I want to also mention that this is only one of the many wonderful things that make me so proud to be your dad.

Many of those other things such as intelligence, resilience and creativity will get you far in life but character (who you are when nobody is looking) is what makes your heavenly and earthly father really proud and sets men and women apart from the crowd.

In the parenting department you are blessed with a phenomenal mom who spends a lot of time sowing into your life and working with you so that you will develop into an amazing man of God. In many ways when I compare myself to her I feel under qualified and am working hard to just not undo some of the stuff she has instilled in you. But we have corporately made some decisions about the influences in your life in hopes that we can protect your character as it develops.

You are already catching on in many areas because you are so smart. Like you are questioning the fact that many of the things you get from us where around when your mom and I were kids. For example, I am glad that Transformers are back but you are 6 and the 25 year old cartoons that we bought you for your birthday are better for you than the recent PG-13 movies. Yes the movie had some really cool robot battles but son the sexual references and images in this movie are not for you. (I saw the way that the Victoria Secret commercials grab your attention even at 5 so I know that your mind is already beginning to process some things.)

We realize that you will someday know that an ass is more than another name for a donkey and that the words that don’t make any sense in the radio edition of” Boom Boom Pow” really are just cuss words that the FCC won’t allow. At some point you will see that if Luke Skywalker had his hand cut off it would bleed like a stuffed pig (Unless the light saber cauterizes also?) but in 1980 that wasn’t a significant part of the plot.

Many parents (some reading this right now) will say that we are shielding you. My response to them is “yes we are”. As mentioned above I know that you will be exposed to this and so much more during life. I realize that at some point you are going to have to battle with raging hormones and strong negative influences but our prayer is that these battles will be easier because you were prepared a little longer with some positive character influences.

For example, before too long you and I are going to sit down for the first of many “talks”. Yes there won’t be just one but many conversations about sex and the feelings that you have. I can’t say that I am looking forward to those in many ways but I am looking forward to being the influence that you hear it from. Some might say that seeing Megan Fox mount somebody on screen is a great communication starter. Though this may be true I think that is a different conversation.

Son, your mom and I love you very much and are trying to be the best character influences we can be. We know that God has big plans for your life and that it is our job to assist in preparing you. This may lead to some confusion as to how Bumblebee went from a VW to a Camaro. This may even cost you a little bit of “coolness”. But son my goal as your dad is not to make you cool or even popular. Son my job is to help you become a man. A man who has enough character to stand up for what you believe in. A man that is strong enough to fight against the path of least resistance and be a leader.

Today you are a Padawan in your quest to be a Jedi (the certificate is in the scrapbook your mom made), though important I am focused more on your training to be warrior in God’s army.

We proceeded to pray this morning for the influences in your life and I started with me. I want to be your hero. I will share the roll today with Bibleman, Luke Skywalker and Optimus Prime but when you are a dad I want you to see me as a hero in your life. I want you to view me as someone who was willing to fight for you and our family at the cost of being over protective, conservative, old fashioned, and a little crazy.

These tactics and God’s hand on you have been doing wonders so far. You are a wonderful young man with so much potential. Many might even say you can be anything you want. I won’t say that because I don’t want you to be just anything… I want you to be exactly who God wants you to be. In that Owen you can and will find happiness.  

I love you Owen. Happy 6th Birthday.

Dad

Focus on the Family… Hate Mail

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 16 November 2009
in Parenting
. 2 Comments

 My wife was watching the “Bringing Up Boys” DVD series this last week trying to get some updated advice on how to discipline our soon to be 6 year old son. This book has brought us through the first five years pretty successfully but in recent months we have faced some new challenges.

I am sure some of it is linked to the life changes that we have underwent as a family and our son trying to express that but regardless we needed some fresh (and hopefully effective) ideas.

My son picks up the DVD case, reads it over and says, and I quote “Dr. Dobson, I hate that guy! He’s the one who told you to spank me.”  Around our house we have taught that hate is a very strong word and we are not supposed to hate other people. It is ok to be angry with someone but we are not to hate…

In this case my wife was too busy laughing to turn this into a teachable moment and I had a hard time not backing him up on his thought process. It might upset me a little if I believed one person was responsible for every spanking I received. LOL 

So we have read “The Strong Willed Child” and “Bringing Up Boys” but we could use another book reference on how to deal with “The Strong Willed Boy Who is Too Smart, Sarcastic (Like His Mother), Knows How to Work the System, Cute and Funny (Like His Dad) so He is Tough to Discipline.” Thanks.

The autopsy of a church planter

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 30 April 2009
in Church Planting, Church of God, City of Weston Florida, Health, InDependence Church, My Life, My Wife, Parenting, Random Ramblings and The Word
. 7 Comments

Somebody asked me yesterday what it was like to not have to prepare for Sunday. Well I wrote this blog a while back titled 6 days till Sunday which has been the story of my life for the past 16 months straight. Even though I recently have switched over to Facebook to spout off random thoughts, this blog still remains the behind the scenes look at the life of a husband, father, and church planter. I just have been busy with the stuff below and haven’t had time to blog much. (And outsourcing my blog didn’t work)

 

So I wanted to journal my thoughts as I close the chapter of my life at InDependence Church. As many of you know this past Sunday was my last official Sunday at InDependence. Over the next week or so I will be working on transferring over all of the other “stuff” that goes along with this job like, banking, taxes, facilities, marketing, leadership, staff info, etc. etc. etc.

 

Many of my pastoral friends have called to check up on me to see how I am doing. My wife asked me yesterday if it feels to me like we are offering our kid up for adoption after you have brought it into this world and raised it for two years… In a sense yes but God has given me incredible peace and confidence that I am doing what is best for me, my family and InDependence.

 

To not so quickly recap:

Continue reading ‘The autopsy of a church planter’

Band of Gypsies

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 21 November 2008
in My Life, My Wife and Parenting
. 2 Comments

So last night I went and checked out our new house for the first time. That’s right the Griffis family is like a band of gypsies. We moved about 4 months ago into an apartment in Plantation to save on some money. Now thanks to the current housing market we are able to move back into a house in Weston for $25/month less than we are currently paying for our apartment and storage unit.

 

There are obviously some amenity benefits to living in a house over an apartment. For example, you don’t hear footsteps over your head or arguing neighbors. Or there is the pipes rattling every time somebody flushes. You don’t have to know your neighbors schedule by the closing of doors.

 

For me I am only awake at home for +/- 6 hrs per day and I sleep like a rock. But for my wife and son this was a very hard transition and I feel like a better husband and dad to be able to get them out. Now my son will have a safe place to ride his bike. We will be able to take family strolls at night without being next to busy streets. My wife will feel safe enough to resume her morning runs.

 

There is a small yard to play croquet or tag and a screened in patio to entertain our guests. My son’s toy area will no longer be what many would consider the dining area and he will once again have an area designated to home school. Depending on if we can get our current furniture to work my wife may get her own little reading nook. I almost forgot the garden tub to recreate a spa environment at a much reduced price.

 

There is a great community playground and we will be really close to our old neighborhood where Owen has some friends that he has been missing. My wife did all the leg work finding the house and found us a real bargain. Now all that is left to do is move over the next few weeks so that we can host our church Christmas Party.

Pastoral Counseling

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 8 October 2008
in Church Planting, My Life, Parenting and Random Ramblings
. 3 Comments

I had the best counseling session ever at 3:52 this morning. I don’t do a lot of counseling because there are a lot of people way more qualified. My wife is trained in counseling and all I have is a degree from the school of hard knocks. It wasn’t a scheduled counseling session but when my 4 year old came in to wake me up I had to do my vary best to be Daddy/Pastor.


Before becoming a church planter life was pretty simple for us. We lived a life right out of 1960’s television. Not the “Honeymooners” but more like “Leave it to Beaver”. I was home everyday at 4:30pm and our involvement in church was limited to a Council Meeting once a month, 2 services per week, and an occasional weekend event.


Our families were close and so Owen would have weekly contact with one set of grandparents or another. We had multiple family friends including some really close friends in our immediate neighborhood. So it wasn’t unusual for random drop-ins from neighbors so Owen and their kids could play while moms chit-chatted over cookies and coffee.


All that changed with our move to South Florida and is taking its toll on a 4 year olds emotions (and some 30+ emotions too.) So I spent an hour this morning explaining some pretty significant concepts to my son. These thoughts can encourage the 4 or the 40 so I thought I would share.

  1. A house is made up of walls floors, ceilings, doors and windows. But a home is made by a family. So even though we have moved to different houses and will hopefully be moving again in the not too distant future we will remain a family and that is what makes a home.
  2. God is bigger than all the monsters. Hence when we have God inside of us, regardless of how small we may be, we take on the size and power of God. So when we are scared of things we just need to remember that we have God on our side.
  3. God doesn’t always answer our prayers because He knows what is best for us. I was able to use our recent dog catastrophe to explain that even though we thought it would be a great idea to get a dog (two if you’re my wife) it wound up not being the right timing for us, given some of the other things going on in life. With a few scars to remind him he understood. So it isn’t that God doesn’t hear you or is ignoring you, it is that you may be asking for “good” but He wants to give you great!
  4. Enjoy the “fun” moments in life instead of worrying that they are going to end. In the last week or so my son (and wife) have made some new friends and since my son has just been starving for some play time he gets all worked up because he knows that at some point he is going to have to go home. Obviously we cleared up some “home” thoughts, but he needed to realize that worrying over what is going to happen in an hour or two when play time is over was cutting into the fun that he could have right now.

    To relate that to us adults… The Bible says don’t worry about tomorrow because just as God has made provisions for the birds He will make provisions for us. This is that unexplainable joy that we read about.

     

    The joy of the Lord is to be our strength so that even when it appears that the whole world is crumbling around us we don’t have to have an emotional breakdown. We can place our faith in God and even if a rough road comes, He able to bring us through it. 

     

  5. God loves when we obey. Just like when Owen obeys us and we reward that, God also rewards our obedience. I explained to Owen that God asked us to leave the house that he loves in Oakland, FL and move here to plant a church. That even though we had to give up some things that made us comfortable, God was proud of us for doing it and in the end obedience pays. It may not always be in the dividends that we expect or desire but God certainly rewards obedience.

Seems like there were a few more things we discussed but in the end he just need some reinforcement. There are many things based on our current position that are in flux but there are certain things that are solid. Even though I have previously mentioned some chinks in the family armor we are fortifying that and have come a long way. So my wife and I are reinforcing that our relationship with God and our relationship with each other are things he can count on. I think we all need to know that those are things we can count on.

What do you think?

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 9 September 2008
in Parenting and Random Ramblings
. 3 Comments

Somebody sent me this link with the youngest “preacher” in the world and I really am torn on how to take it. Check THIS out and come back….

Okay, so I have a preacher’s kid (PK if you will) who every Sunday about mic check time goes to the platform sits on his daddies stool and begins to deliver some 4 year old theology such as “God is bigger than all the monsters.” No jokes… that is deep if you begin to think about all the monsters we face in life.

But I am wondering if his daddy was a yeller who spit over the first three rows when he preached could this be my kid? I guess the answer is probably yes, and I would think that it is great and be proud just like when he teaches from my stool. But would I then take valuable service time to hand my son a microphone and see hom many amens he could get as peop,e pretend that they can understand him?

 So I am unsure, but do you find this cute, disturbing, in bad taste, “raising them up in the way they should go”, or other?

Purpose Driven has a Price

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 26 August 2008
in Church Planting, InDependence Church, My Life, My Wife, Parenting and Random Ramblings
. 1 Comment

At breakfast this morning with my buddy Carl we were discussing some of our challenges. This time could easily turn into a one up or simply a complain session. (you thought I was going to say something else but I am working out my salvation) To this point we have been successful in making it an opportunity to encourage one another and offer feedback. 

This morning I was telling him about my desire to establish some priorities and boundaries between ministry and life. I know some really “holy” people just said there is no difference; God has called you to be a pastor, so it is your life. No, it is only a piece… God has called me to be a man, a husband, a father, a friend, a witness, an employee, and a pastor so it is up to me to establish the priorities of these things and establish boundaries.

I have always been aware of the time vacuum that is ministry. I grew up with it and have vowed hundreds of times not to loose site of my priorities. Well, seemingly no matter how conscious I am or how hard I have tried I am missing the mark. God has a way of reminding us of where we are falling short. Sometimes they are subtle redirections and other times they hurt like a dull knife cutting out your heart.

So, I used the word Purpose Driven because that is one of the church planting models that includes the “launching large” concept. Obviously there are others, but I want to share today a price to “launching large” (especially if you don’t make it). The Bible talks about counting your costs and this was one that I didn’t consider and maybe you haven’t either so let me help you learn this so you might not have to pay the same price. Continue reading ‘Purpose Driven has a Price’

Bible in Action

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 21 February 2008
in My Life and Parenting
. 2 Comments

Ephesians 6:4

Ephesians 6:4 (MSG) “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.”

You’re Killing Larry!

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 11 August 2007
in Parenting
. 0 Comments

These are the words of my three year old as my wife is slicing a cucumber to put in her salad. I just love the innocence of actually thinking that his mother might be harming one of the Veggie Tales. As we have been preparing for our Parenting That Works Seminar, God has given us some very funny moments to remind us what children are all about but he has also opened our eyes to tragic mistakes that we can make as parents which will have a devastating effect on or kids.

As we have worked to educate ourselves so that we can deliver the best possible lessons it has opened my eyes to the effects of media consumption. The amounts of media (television, radio, DVDs, video games, internet, IPods) that we in America consume each and every day are absurd. As adults we spend 60% of our waking hours centered on these items and yet we only spend an average of less than 6 minutes a day playing with our kids.

It is Saturday and summer break is almost over. I challenge you to take a break from work, take a break from chores, and take a break from the “idiot boxes” and play with your kids. Go to the pool, the park, or out on the boat. Take a walk, play catch, go to breakfast together. It is a day like today that has the potential to make memories that will last a lot longer than you will. Invest in your kids.

Parenting That Works

Published
by
Nathan Griffis
on 24 July 2007
in InDependence Church and Parenting
. 1 Comment

I just wanted to post the graphics for our 20,000 peice mailer that will be hitting the mailboxes of Weston in 10 days or so. We have also placed it as an ad in Our City Weston (a local paper that is more like a magazine). I am excited about the job that Truth in Advertising did for us and how accomodating they were through the process. I look forward to hearing your feedback on the presentation. The files that I am posting are pretty low resolution so keep that in mind when viewing.
Parenting That Works_Front
Parenting That Works_Back