5- Minutes GO… This past week we talked a lot about the power of confession. So I am going to confess that about a month ago my wife and I had some marital issues. No, I wasn’t running around with the piano player but I wanted to share some of my findings because I think it can help some people. So for you church planters that catch this pay close attention. I have been married for 8 years and we have been together for 11. So a fair amount of time. To be honest even though we have gone through some pretty challenging life circumstances I considered our marriage to be pretty strong. Sure we have had to deal with the romantic challenges of dating vs. marriage and many other common issues but I could easily count on one hand the amount of “arguments” that we have had. 

The stress level of our current lives far exceeds anything that we could have anticipated or have experienced in the past. What I found is that stress can magnify any issue in your marriage and expose it for what it is. So one of the biggest ones was lack of communication and as you probably guessed this one clearly sets in my fault box. I could probably throw out some reasonable excuses that you would almost buy but there really is no excuse. The details don’t matter but in the end I learned that love is overrated. Love is an emotion and emotions come and go. I learned that love doesn’t make you stay, love doesn’t make you try, love doesn’t make you change, and love isn’t even a good reason to get married in the first place. Do I love my wife…sure, today. Can I tell you that there are certain days that I am unlovable? Those that know her may not believe it, but there are certain times that she is unlovable. Lately, there have been days that I am just emotionally exhausted to the place that I am not capable of loving. I don’t have enough emotional capability to deal with one more issue…or at least I think. (See AQ) 

So my wife and I are still married and our communication lines are improving. They have a long way to go but why are we working at it? I don’t think it has anything to do with love. In the end it has to do with covenant. Love is an emotion and emotions come and go. Marriage is more than commitment, because they are like contracts, which are broken everyday.  A covenant involves a sacrifice. Back in the day it used to involve animals and blood. For us it didn’t involve a goat but we sacrificed ourselves one to another. This doesn’t happen all at once either. Everyday you may have to make, or in some cases just be willing to make, a sacrifice for the good of the whole.  

My marriage is not out of the woods though. Everyday (which should have been happening all along) my marriage is a gift from God. So I need to evaluate, EVERYDAY, my appreciation for the gift and ensure that my priorities are inline. What is standing between you and a great marriage? Discuss it, and you may need to light a fire and torch it. Guys I’ll leave you with this…sometimes lighting that fire will lead to lighting another fire… Sorry…more like 10 minutes