At breakfast this morning with my buddy Carl we were discussing some of our challenges. This time could easily turn into a one up or simply a complain session. (you thought I was going to say something else but I am working out my salvation) To this point we have been successful in making it an opportunity to encourage one another and offer feedback. 

This morning I was telling him about my desire to establish some priorities and boundaries between ministry and life. I know some really “holy” people just said there is no difference; God has called you to be a pastor, so it is your life. No, it is only a piece… God has called me to be a man, a husband, a father, a friend, a witness, an employee, and a pastor so it is up to me to establish the priorities of these things and establish boundaries.

I have always been aware of the time vacuum that is ministry. I grew up with it and have vowed hundreds of times not to loose site of my priorities. Well, seemingly no matter how conscious I am or how hard I have tried I am missing the mark. God has a way of reminding us of where we are falling short. Sometimes they are subtle redirections and other times they hurt like a dull knife cutting out your heart.

So, I used the word Purpose Driven because that is one of the church planting models that includes the “launching large” concept. Obviously there are others, but I want to share today a price to “launching large” (especially if you don’t make it). The Bible talks about counting your costs and this was one that I didn’t consider and maybe you haven’t either so let me help you learn this so you might not have to pay the same price.

I am not going to rehash all of the details of what we did in an attempt to “launch large” but I have read enough books to think we did just about everything you can do to “launch large”; mailers, radio ads, newspaper articles, signage, preview services, home meetings, community events, etc. We did all the things that the hero’s of church planting did. You know the guys that we spend $100’s, if not $1,000’s of dollars to go hear how they did it. We buy their books and their resources because we want to be successful. (By the way there is nothing wrong with that because it is far better to learn from their mistakes than our own, besides I want to sell some books someday too) 

Launch day came and we were ready with a trailer full of stuff. (Hope to have a You Tube video of our set-up soon) We had people ready to serve. We had rocking music and we even had some great take-home stuff for all of our guests.

To brag on God and the people He sent us we were a pretty fine oiled machine. We were operating on all cylinders because we were ready for the “multitude”. I vowed a long time ago that this blog was not a place to release numbers other than lives changed. So if you want to know how many people we have, come and visit or send money because we only report to those who support. (Stole that from Nelson Searcy and I love it).

Let’s say that the multitude that we seemingly prepared for was not the multitude we received. As I wrote about here I was still pretty pumped but the mythical 200 people (I know some people get there but it was my Elenor… Gone in 60 Seconds reference) that I read about was a far cry.

So there I was… a lead pastor with a wife acting as our interim children’s pastor and a hired out band. We had a solid base of volunteers to work from but all things considered we were set up for the sprint… not the marathon. 

Here is where the price is paid. We set some incredibly high standards right out of the box. Clearly the plan was to take our multitude and get them involved and POOF, a mega church is born. You plan, you strategize, you dot the i’s and cross the t’s. We let people test drive the BMW but we were staffed (and by staffed I mean nobody getting paid except for the bands we brought in) to provide a cheap rental car long term. 

So 7 months of providing the BMW every week is costly. I am going to be honest God has given us some people with the heart of a lion to help us do that. But here was my reality check as to what the real cost was. Sunday afternoon and evening is family time. A month or so ago we designated it and have tried to protect it. This past Sunday my wife and I let dealing with some of our financial challenges creep into Sunday. It was a critical conversation, one that should have happened a hundred times previous to this but just part of the price.

I don’t need to tell you that communication in a marriage is critical. You have all watched enough Oprah and Dr. Phil to know that. But it is certainly compounded when she is not only your wife, mother of your son, children’s pastor, personal financial account manager and domestic engineer. Oh I almost forgot… is also home schooling your son. (I know you think we are freak shows but I am sure that will come up in a later post)

Back to the story…So my son went off and was working on something at the kitchen table. He was cutting, stapling, punching holes, and writing on some paper. I went over and sat down and I asked him if he wanted to go and play or read a book or wrestle (one of his favorite things to do with dad). Here was his response, “Not right now I am working on some paperwork FOR SUNDAY.” Price check on aisle…

I’d like to say that was the first of comments like that but in reality it was the one that broke the camel’s back. So for 7 months I have been a bi-vocational pastor trying to operate a church at an amazingly high level because God gifted me with being a perfectionist. It becomes more and more evident everyday that my son does not know how to express his frustration but thankfully God is getting the point across.

I have come close to losing my wife three times that I know of. Whether she would have actually left or not, thankfully I don’t know, but if I am being honest I don’t think I would have blamed her. She married a husband and was getting a church planter. So not only is she dealing with the day to day of life, let’s add in church.

So what do I do with a congregation that expects video, graphics, creativity in sermons, small groups, creative children’s ministry, awesome set-up, community outreach, visitation, etc? I set their expectations so who’s to blame them for wanting it. So how do I help our current congregation to understand why certain things aren’t being done anymore because we simply ran out of gas, the price is too much, and the priorities have to change?

Well here is where Carl stepped in and reminded me of something very important… Who’s church is it? I am a worker, plain and simple. That is why one of our core values is “pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on you”. It will take a lot of whiteout to change our marketing brochures so I am not ready to change that but it is time for me to work less (on church) and pray more. It is time for me to work more on restoring my family relationships because I am their priest first. 

If it really is God’s church than He will take care of it. Did I really just say that? I know it sounded strange to me too. You mean that even though He called me to be the leader He still has some responsibility. Well I liken it to Moses… he held out the stick but God parted the waters. So I am going to try and switch it up and stop trying to part the waters and just focus on holding the stick because I am currently just bailing water. I have said all of this before but my prayer is that at some point God will get it through my seemingly overly thick skull before I do unrepairable damage.

I went to a seminar one time and got hyped up on ”launching large” and I believe that it can work (maybe not for everybody). The next session I went to was a reality check by Ed Stetzer. I fell in love with Mr. Stetzer that day because He wasn’t afraid to tell us about the stuff that doesn’t sell books, even though he has sold his fair share. Maybe I should have heeded his words a little more but I write this in hopes that you will heed mine. 

“Launching Large” is a great thing to strive for but I challenge you to find the balance between faith and reality. Make sure you add the above mentioned costs into the equation and don’t wind up in the world of relationship debt. You thought compound interest is hard to overcome…